loveandlucky:

celticpyro:

surge0n:

the fuck is a resume bitch give me the job

Ain’t that the vampire baby from Twilight?

This is funnier than any joke told by 90 percent of the comedians out there

(via dietpepsiwhores)

luckylesbiano:

to the woman watching the Toxic by Britney Spears music video with no headphones in the psychiatrists waiting room: you’re the only motherfucker in this room who can handle me

(via broken-from-memories)

edwad:

i opened the door at the exact second my doordasher was taking a picture to show my food was delivered

(via biosh0ck)

bnmxfld:

“And so it seems that I must always write you letters that I can never send.”

— Sylvia Plath